Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A typical Tueday @ 3/31/2009 08:32:00 PM

Todae was as normal as any tue. Todae i learn lots of skills. Firstly, do not show that you are angry when u are actually pissed off. If not u will die a terrible death. I sometimes smile even if i am angry or i get scolded. By showing u are angry oni make things worse. Secondly, ppl will change no matter how long u have known them.
I really tried my best and i failed. I feel that i am burried underground and cannot shine. Ppl always told us not to regret our decisions and i tried not to regret my decision. There is one particular decision i regret. I i had chosen others, i may get to shine abd not get insulted. I always have to be two different person-at home and in school. I will not elaborate further.
I had always wanted to learn the piano but i cannot afford to. Now i learn the dizi and i wanted to do well in it. Learning the dizi sort of replace my desire of learning an instrument. I totally loved my instrument!!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

What a bad thing @ 3/29/2009 09:47:00 PM

Todae we had a project meet up. Guess wat oni 2 ppl turn up. Nobody inform me except Jas. Okay after that i had tuition. Finally i can forget my prob a while then again prob arise. The home econ project then lit. I thought i can have a good night sleep todae after burning the midnight oil yesterday.I stayed until 1.30am. Thks to the maths hmwk. All those project really drive me crazy. I am really sick of this busy life of mine. How i wish i can still go back to primary sch life lesser hmwk. Hmwk hmwk is wht makes up my life and i am totally sick of doing hmwk. I hope that there will not be hmwk for 1 day.
Anyway, i met lots of prob not only in studies but in other areas too. Sleeping is the escape from reality and go to ur dreams where there is no such thing as hmwk.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Why do u treat me like that? @ 3/27/2009 09:57:00 PM

I worked hard despite all those difficulties. You took the chance fom me jus beacause i have no conifidence. You took the chance away serectly but have you notice that i am not oblivious to wat you are doing. I know everything and you hurt me. I wanted to ask why. Why? Just because i dun have the money to learn these. I always had to smile when i get home no matter how sad i am. I always act as if i do not care but deep inside my heart i really cared a lot. I endured all the blames, bullies and bias abd i am really veri tired of my life. When will my life be full of sweetness and not bitterness?? I can only jus prayed that 2moro will be a better day.

A Lesson learnt @ 3/27/2009 09:40:00 PM

No matter how much i worked, i always failed to get the things that i wan. I wan to try to achieve things that may seem impossible but you did not give me that chance. My heart ache went i see my parents working so hard to get me the things i wan. I do not want to ask them for money if possible and so i used my own allowance to pay or buy for anything. I wish that i can go overseas with my whole family but i can't. Firstly, we had no money, secondly my father spent all his time earning money. My father work as a bus driver who charters children and workers. Sometimes he worked from 6.30am-7pm and 3am-6am. On weekends, we worked from 3am-6am, 7.30am-1pm, 1pm-7pm. Everytime i see my father working so hard, i jus wan to work hard to achieve good grades for my studies so as to make him feel that working so hard is worthwhile. When i get poor results for maths, i cried because i let my father down and not because of any other reasons. He had worked so hard i had failed him. I will continue to work hard but the math teacher to not explain so clearly and confused everyone. I really feel that i am being treated like a tool for experimenting.

Friday, March 20, 2009

A Reality @ 3/20/2009 11:45:00 AM

Whoa!The holidays are going to be over. How i wished it would nvr end. Hmwks are stacked up high. Rushing hmwks are also part of the holidays. Projects nid to be done and arranging a meet up session is difficult. Not everybody were present. If time were to stop, there's no need to do these things. But we jus have to accept reality so c'mon everyone we can do it!!

Friday, March 06, 2009

I really wonder... @ 3/06/2009 09:16:00 PM

Sometimes, i really wonder why. Why did i do this for? What can i get after doing all this? If i fail, i get hurt. What caused me to do all this? The environment? The ans are hard to find. Life is just like a maze, jus go the wrong way and u cannot find the way out. Friends are there to guide u but wat if they didn't what will happen? People changed because of the environment as the nid to survive. Life is unfair and everyone knows.
If we can go back time, it may be great. Wrong choices of people can change and make good choices. Things get better. But all this cannot happen so lets accept reality.
This week i ran so much that my leg is aching. Its common to have leg ache nowadays. Taekwondo, et, pe all need to run. Life is so 'wonderful'. Lets jus look forward to 2moro and not regret wat u did yesterday.