Sunday, January 30, 2011

Rainy day makes me sad @ 1/30/2011 11:34:00 AM

It kept raining and raining these few days. I wonder when will the rain finally stop. If these carries on, i think there will be a wet CNY. Rainy days also dampen my mood. I slept at 2am yesterday and surprisingly i woke up at 8am. This is really shocking normally i would wake up at 10am if i sleep tat late. I dun seem to have the mood for CNY. I dun feel esp. excited or happy. Maybe the only thing i think i feel excited may be the reunion dinner cos i like to sit with everyone and eat 2gether. I really like that a lot. I like the warm feeling. :) Nowadays, my mind would keep flying to somewhere else. I thought i had already let it go but i think my head has let it go but not my heart. All these i think requires time, although the process is painful but i think time will heal it. I tell myself to face the truth and dun run away from it. Stop thinking abt the past, its all over alr. Life can be interesting, only if u want to. :)

Friday, January 28, 2011

Another long day @ 1/28/2011 10:07:00 PM

Fri is always a long day. Although lessons only last till 12.20pm but cca ends at 5.45pm plus. Although there is cca and its tirring, i am also very happy. I dun noe why actually... All of these are gonna end when cca stand down and i graduate. I keep wishing for tat day to come but sometimes i feel sad knowing tat if tat day come i will be graduating and all these will just be memories. Although cca make me so tired, demoralized and sad, i think i will still miss it when i graduate. Isn't humans funny? Hahas... Anyway, i think i am really crazy keep thinking abt some stupid stuff, why can't i jus like stop thinking? Maybe time will help me.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Bad day @ 1/26/2011 08:13:00 PM

Today wasn't getting any better for me. Still feel very unwell and i think i got fever luckily it went down. I feel so dumb and stupid. Why did i want to go school attend lessons so much when i am feeling so unwell. I did not managed to finish my hw even though i stayed until 12am. I did not see a doctor for mc cos today there are 3 sciences, 2 math, 2 languages and finally 1 humans. I can't afford to miss lessons. So i hang on even though i am unwell. I did my hw even though i was sneezing and sneezing and messing up my table with all the tissue papers thrown all around. Yeah and what i get in return, it was jus a tight slap in my face. I really wonder whats the point of being such a good student. One mistake u make u get the same treatment as those ppl with bad record. It's really not worth. Someday i mus learn to be a "good" student. Students out there dun care if u miss any lessons cos teacher won't care a SH*t abt u if u r unwell and not able to finish ur hmwk. So go see a doctor and take mc and rest. no one will know tat u cared abt ur studies tats y u came to school even though u are so sick.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Feeling so sick... @ 1/25/2011 08:29:00 PM

I am down with a flu. Damn it at this time where it is going to be chinese new year soon. Feeling so tired, my brain also lag... I planned to go see the doctor today but i dun wanna miss school 2moro cos there's a lot of lessons 2moro. I will miss out lots of stuff so i must hang in there and go school 2moro. Today i had cca, quite slack cos jus need to choose jnrs for the particular instrument. I hope my flu can get better i really hope i can eat lots of goodies during new year. Sian, i have to memorise so many stuff this week, cheng yu and scores. Damn it, if only if there's a pill i can eat and everything will be in the brain. I really hope someday someone will invent that pill. Okay, i shld stop blogging and chiong finish my hw so tat i can rest earlier. :)

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Blurring view @ 1/22/2011 09:45:00 PM

Can'u see we are really losing hope? Can't u see we are losing the motivation? Can't u see tat we are giving up and nth seems to matter to us anymore? If there's one thing that matters to us, it will be guilt becos we let them down. What we gets frm u is that we are not really important, can't u see ur plan has already backfired? Since when did we cry everyday and when is the last time when u see us really smile frm the bottom of our heart? Since when has things become like this? It is supposed to bring joy, since when has it become sadness? Did you see that our focus point has shift cos we already lose hope on it and pin all hopes on studies? Do you really have eyes? Why can't u see this? Where is the warmth that keeps us moving even though we are tired? What's the reason for us to put so much effort even though we are soooo tired? What's the point? I am losing the motivation for me to hang on. I wanna do well seriously but i dun get the motivation. Its seeping out of me. Someone motivate me. Why do i have to be reminded of cruel stuff even on my birthday? Can't i jus take a small break on my birthday? Luckily, i had a good bunch of frenz if not i dun think i can really enjoy my birthday. Becos of them i forgot all abt it and spend my birthday happily. I just hope things can get better. If not jus kill my hope and let me go all out on my studies. Floating in mid air isn't gonna get me anywhere. Jus make it quick and swift so tat the pain could be minimize. I would thank you for it.

Friday, January 21, 2011

My birthday! @ 1/21/2011 10:01:00 PM

I am finally sixteen!! I am so damn happy. Spend my dinner with my frenz, received lots of fantastic presents! Thanks! My happiness cannot be described by mere words. Thanks everyone for wishing me happy birthday! Although there's cca todae and it sort of dampen my mood, i still managed to stay happy. Nothing gonna spoils my birthday. Although there are some jokers who kept making fun of me, i am still very happy. Haha, i am feeling so tried now, haven sleep well in these few days finally can sleep le. Hahas

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Concert @ 1/15/2011 03:01:00 PM

The concert was nice except that i cannot even see the dizi playing which makes it quite stupid cos the aim was to learn from others. It was really fun but i had some regrets cos i hope to take more pictures, i think i must learn to be more thick skin to ask ppl to take photo with me. Hahas I reached home at abt 12am plus. Not too scary walking home as i had company. :) We went to lau pa sa to eat but i didn't eat anything cos my belt cause my stomach to hurt and dun feel like eating. Hahas

Sunday, January 09, 2011

Finally i got it @ 1/09/2011 09:49:00 PM

Life has really been so plain. In my life, there are only studies and CCA. Okay and the best thing of all, is tat my studies and CCA hasen't been going well at all. Recently, i have been thinking abt my future. I am wondering if i should go JC or poly. Both are quite attractive. However, the score required for me to go the poly course i wanted is very high. After going to the poly open house, i had the motivation to study real hard for my future and it really made it hard for me to make my choice. But there's one thing i had learnt which is that Studies are very IMPORTANT now and if you dun get a good score it will be all over for you. CCA isn't going to help u tat much. Cos without me there wont be any difference. Thanks ppl for making me see this. Sometimes life is really difficult, all we wanted is to be appreciated. Its really tiring doesn't it. Maybe i should be grateful cos u helped me realised that there is nothing great in this world, just cruelty and biasness.Haha Thks!

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

First Day of School @ 1/04/2011 01:46:00 PM

The day started out fine, jus that i missed my bus in the morning haha. Its still quite relaxing for the first day but some subjects are starting lessons 2moro and there are even tests on next week. I keep telling myself that i am sec 4 now the most important year in my life. I must work hard in order to go into the JC tat i want. This year is also SYF year which means i really have to plan my time well and score well in my cca and studies. I am so scared that i may not be able to cope. Both means so much to me, i can't give up on anyone of it. No matter what i must succeed!! Ganbatte!