Saturday, January 30, 2010

Meaningless @ 1/30/2010 06:09:00 PM

What's the point of doing ur best when you get nothing in return?? I finally understood that it really doesn't pay to be kind. When you think for the person and help the person, it doesn't mean that the person will do the same for you. They always forgot abt you. Maybe i was too kind, i should be mean, heartless, evil? Am i a person that will be easily forgotten?? Jus an extra person in ur life? It also doesn't pay to be good, whats the point of being good when ppl do not even appreciate it. I am deteriorating if you can notice, i dun even bothered to practise, everything is MEANINGLESS. WHATS THE POINT?? i believe no one would ans me... Sometimes, i would be in daze thinking abt how you treated me and why do i deserve it, is my decision really wrong? When the time i can leave, the scars that you leave on me will forever be there and it will remind me of the painful and beautiful memories. All i wanted from you was care and concern but what i get is negligence. Behind the smiles, is someone who wanted to fulfil her dreams but got hurt over and over again am i really jus a toy that you can use when you need and throw it away when you do not need it?? What's wrong with me and my character?

Friday, January 29, 2010

FINALLY! @ 1/29/2010 10:30:00 PM

Its finally FRIDAY!! One week had passed and okay it went quite well though. After the weekends, more tests are coming up but never mind dun care abt it first haha! Today's CCA is very tirring, full orchestra all the way... I dun noe if i am looking forward or dreaded abt the sec ones coming in for cca. I can't imagine having a sec one grade eight dizi for my junior. Maybe i even have to learn from him... On the other hand, i am really curious abt how good he is... Spotted a sec one carrying a dizi dai so suspected that he is the one. Hope that i won't be "sour". I hated the feeling and feel like killing the person better WATCH OUT! Todae, my class had class recess and it was quite fun afterall. Btw, i was selected for the ocip trip and the bad thing was my passport is going to expire soon, need to renew it soon. Although i was selected, i was not very happy becos of some reasons. Haiz... is being slected a good or a bad thing?? 2moro still have CCA and so i had to end it here. Byes~~~

Thursday, January 21, 2010

A new Begining @ 1/21/2010 04:08:00 PM

Todae is my 15th birthday and so thks everyone for wishing me a happy birthday. The whole class also sing a birthday song for me!! I am overjoyed! Oh i had to thank my friends for giving me presents!! Thank YOu x100 hehe... I wish that in this year i will be able to score well as i hope to get edusave bursary or scholarship. CCA may also go well. Gd luck to me and so finally A Great HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!!

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

New Year, new goals @ 1/06/2010 10:04:00 PM

A new year has come and it's time to start anew. I am going to change my focus this year and cos it doesn't matter if i improved anot. I wanted to shout this out loud " You would not need me so why would i need to abide all those rules? What did i get in return?" I wanted to rebel but do not have the heart to do so. I only wanted to fufill my dreams why do you have to trash it?? Did i really make a bad choice? It was so obvious to people that i am the not so being taken care of one but do you really noe it? You jus do it and do it and i jus got stabbed and stabbed. Why do i lack in confidence? Cos you took it little by little with your own hands. Destroy me little by little until i have no wish to improve now. Feel so cheated, bullied and depressed and all it takes is a FAKE smile to cover it up.