Thursday, November 19, 2009

Tiring @ 11/19/2009 08:07:00 PM

Haiz...I feel so cheated,look down and unfair nowadays. Maybe i am not putting in a lot of effort. The least you could do was to tell me where i could improve why do you wan to condemn me. Do you really wish to see me giving up. Why do you have to give me hope and then smash it rite away? Do you think its fun to see ppl being happy for a while and then sad? You think its fun? Sometimes i really wonder, am i putting in more effort and let others had a chance to hurt me. Do you know how hurt i was feeling trying to cover up that hurt with a STUPID smile?? I know i was lacking a few things but can't you see the effort i am putting in? I really wan to escape but if i escape i had wasted 2yrs so i endure and endure. A balloon when filled with too much air would burst eventually and so do i. I had a limit to my endurance. When the time comes, i myself would not know what i will do. I know that i am someone who needs people to take the initiative to know more abt me and then i will melt the cold surrounding me, i am trying extremely hard to shake that off and be someone who is extremely social. Every time i let my guard down i got hurt maybe i shld treat everyone coldly like my enemy so that no one will be able to hurt me, maybe being a porcupine will solve the problem. I really wanted to know the real reason why you had to do all these, where i am weak at, why i am elimated from being selected????????? Does anyone has the answers???????